I’m so ridiculously thankful for everything and everyone in my life right now. I feel truly blessed. Things are coming together. I’m feeling more and more comfortable in my new job. Even though money is tight right now, I’m getting by and it’s teaching me to be more responsible with my money. I have the greatest family, and strangely, moving out has really helped my relationship with them. Everyone in my life right now is supposed to be there. My healthy and positive friendships are strengthening and my negative ones are fading out. It is sad in a way, but I don’t need to put effort into something that isn’t worth it in the end. Those people aren’t making me a priority, so I don’t need to waste my energy making them one. I love my house. My car is sucking right now, but it’ll be all fixed in a few weeks. I have so many things to look forward to. I’ve been exercising when I can and am starting to feel better about myself. My faith is strengthening, and I’m able to attend church regularly now. All in all, I’m a pretty happy camper right now. I could use some more hours in the day to sleep, but otherwise I can’t complain. I’m excited and wanted to write this all out. You truly are in control of your own happiness. Make positive changes and you’ll see positive outcomes in return .Goodnight to you.

Is this the best year of your life? 
-Well it’s definitely not the worst, but it’s too early to tell if it’s the best. So far so good.
What was the first thing you did when you woke up? 
-Went back to sleep for 2 hrs.
The person you like is? 
-I can never answer questions like this with an uncomplicated answer.
Is anything bothering you? 
-Nope, I’m having a great day so far.
Does anyone annoy you?
-Quite a few people annoy me.
Would you like things to go ‘back to normal’ with a certain someone? 
-The relationships I have with everyone in my life are exactly how they are supposed to be at this moment. It wouldn’t make much sense going “back to normal” whatever normal is.
What was the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
-I washed my face and brushed my teeth.
Is life good? 
-Life is quite good right now.
Do you remember who you liked on New Years? 
-Yeah, about that..
Do you still like them?
-Eh, no. I think I played that one up quite a bit in my head.
Do you still speak to them? 
-No.
Told your parents you were going somewhere but went somewhere else? 
-A super long time ago, back when I had to ask permission to go places.
Are you dating the last person you kissed on the lips?
-No I am not.
Do you hate the last girl you had a conversation with? 
-Nope. My mom is pretty awesome.
Would you go out with someone right now if they asked?
-Nooooope.
Three days from now will you be in a relationship? 
-Refer to previous question.
If someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you? 
-If they want. It probably wouldn’t do much good.
Have you kissed anyone in the last month?
-Nooope
What was the last reason you went to the doctor for? 
-I think I had to refill a prescription.
Do you like being home alone or does it freak you out?
-Freaks me out!
Would you ever kiss anyone you texted today?
-I havent talked to very many people today, and the ones I have, no.
Do you have any bruises on you? 
-Probably. 
How was 2011 for you?
-Very eye opening. I became a much better person last year.
How late did you stay up last night and why?
-I walked inside at like 4:00am, and was in bed at 4:30. I had a nice night with a nice man.
Do you ever get good morning texts from anyone?
-Every once in a while. Not consistent ones.
Do you regret anything you’ve done lately?
-I drank a wee bit too much on tuesday night and wasted the entire next day in bed. Otherwise, nothing.
What woke you up today?
-My alarm clock. 
What makes you happy?
-Vanilla candles, warm hugs, sleep, family and friends, reading and tea.
Ever kissed on a boat? 
-I do not believe so. 
Have you ever been told that you are amazing?
-Yeeep.
Finish this sentence: The last person I kissed is…
-A very nice man, but one who has a lot of growing up to do. 
This time last year, can you remember who you liked?
-Haha I didn’t like people in general this time last year. 
Do you like when people play with your hair?
-I love it 
Do you plan on sleeping in tomorrow?
-No can do. I work in the AM. 
Waiting for something?
-Eh, yes.
Was last night terrible?
-Last night was wonderful. 
Did you lose friends when you started dating someone?
-I lost a lot of friends due to my last relationship. 
Are you the type of person to make people laugh?
-I love making people laugh. 
Don’t tell me lies, so is the last person you texted attractive?
-Uh, well. She’s not really my type.
Is tomorrow going to be a good day?
-I really hope so! I work from 11:30am-10:00pm. Saturdays are a hit or miss. 
Are you missing someone?
-Eh, I’m alright. 
Has anyone ever tried to ruin a relationship you were in?
-Many of times. 
Do you believe in karma?
-It’s hard not to with some of the things I’ve seen. 
Do you sleep with a fan on?
-All year round. 
You think anyone’s thinking about you right now?
-I’d like to think that. 
Is there anyone you wish you were spending time with right now?
-Right now, no. In general, yes. 
Do you go to school?
-Not this semester. 
Is the person you last texted single?
-She’s definitely married. 
Who was driving the last time you were in a car?
-Grant. 
Have you ever used the word ‘rawr’ in an actual conversation?
-HAHA yes. 
Are the blinds on your window open or closed?
-Closed. 
Did you leave milk and cookies for Santa when you were little?
-Cookies, yes. Milk, no. 
What were you doing at 11 last night?
-Leaving Yogurtini. 
What could you eat any day of the week & never get tired of?
-Cereal. 
Is there someone you wouldn’t mind kissing right now?
-Oh, there’s plenty of those. Starting with Enrique Iglecias.
Someone knocks on your window at 5 am, what do you say?
-If I’m sleeping, I’d be pissed and probably not say anything? If I’m awake, I’d be asking how they got to my 2nd story window with no roof under it. 
Would you change yourself for the person you love?
-You tend to change a bit when you love someone, but to change in order for them to love you, that’s wrong. They should already love you for who you are.
Let me guess, your last incoming call was from the opposite sex?
-This is true. 
What are you supposed to be doing right now?
-I should be buying paint and cleaning my house.. I’m taking a nap after this.
Would you have sex with the 5th person on your contacts?
-Yeah, no thanks.
To who did you last give the finger to?
-I don’t remember the last time I’ve “given the finger to” anyone. 
Did your last kiss take place on a bed?
-No. 
Do you have someone who you can be your complete self around?
-A few. 
Do you talk in your sleep?
-I hope not. 
Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
-The best. I’m very lucky. 
What time did you wake up today?
-The first time, 10:00, second time 11:30. 
What were you doing at midnight last night?
-Sitting in a car, talking and listening to music. 
What song are you listening to?
-Right now, there is something awful coming out of the office.  
Has anyone put their arms around you in the past 5 days?
-Mhm. 
How do you feel about chocolate-covered strawberries?
-I love. 
Do you have nice eyes?
-I like my eyes. 
Is your current hair color your natural hair color?
-Nooo. 
Are you texting anybody?
-Yes I am. 
Do you swear in front of your parents?
-No way. 
Concert tickets or NFL game tickets?
-Concert all the way. 
Are you addicted to cigarettes?
-Never have been, never will be. 
Do you tell your parents everything?
-Basically. 
Do you have any tattoos?
-Just one for now. 
If something was wrong, who is the first girl you would go to?
-It depends on what is wrong. 

After having a nice little panic attack today, I had to calm myself down by reassuring myself of the good things that are happening very soon. As stupid as it sounds, I’ve been really stressing about how much I’m stressing out about things. That, and how un motivated I have become and my “go with the flow” attitude I have been applying to everything. I haven’t been really taking responsibility for my life and my future, and that needs to change. It’s hard to get out of a rut, though. When feeling completely content where I am at, at this point in time, it’s hard to stand up and start moving forward. I don’t really have anything that I am dedicated to or have to have responsibility for. I’m not locked into anything. It’s a very independent and freeing feeling, but at the same time, it’s an immature way to live. Anyways, where I was going with this was that many good things are happening this month and next. 

First I will start with my beautiful niece Natalyn. She was born last week and is just adorable. I was able to see her tonight and it completely made my entire day. Secondly, I have three of my best friends’ birthdays coming up very soon, one being tomorrow. I feel that work is getting busier, and that means more money. I will also be getting a second job for the morning. With both of those, I will be able to save a lot more than I am now. I have had a few people exit my life, and a few more enter it. As I am becoming more open and confident with my beliefs, I am noticing this more and more. I believe that it’s really for the best and as I am becoming the person I want to be, friends will come and go, but the ones that stay are true. The biggest and most exciting change of all will be happening at the end of next month. I will be moving out with a few friends and if that doesn’t mean a lot of change, I don’t know what will.

I’m really excited and just wanted to type all of this out so I can once again reassure myself now, and if need be, look back at it in the future to make sure that I realize that I am in fact moving forward, and those steps I am taking are in the right direction. I will end up the person I am supposed to be, doing the things I am supposed to be doing, with the people who are meant to be there, right by my side. The process of getting there may be rough and confusing, but everything will work out for the best.